True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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