if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
