Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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