but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
