It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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