man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
