Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
