If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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