I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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