i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
