we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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