i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
