It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
