She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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