Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
