your room smells of hookers.
And success
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
