I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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