all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
