who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
