Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
wanna go halves on a baby?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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