You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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