the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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