how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
