Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
