what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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