we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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