I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
