So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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