Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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