the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
