so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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