It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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