pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
