He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
