i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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