I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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