That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
