I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
