left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
