so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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