I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
