dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
