Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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