I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
