So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
