we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
