Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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