Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
send nudes
from the living room?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
