i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
