So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
