Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
