If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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